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About Deviant Artist EmilyFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
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Going Home
Going Home
My years slip by in suitcases I've had since I was nine,
But I don't have much to carry as I cross this borderline.
My life's been in transition; I'm not used to being mine,
But now I think it's time for movin' on.
So I sit here in this terminal as the seconds trickle down.
The departure board clicks softly as it turns my life around.
Though doubt roars through my body, I can hardly make a sound
I exhale – soon I'll be long gone.
So farewell my autumn mountains and friends I'll long to see.
Your love will last in photographs I'll cherish tenderly,
And if home is where the heart is, then my home will follow me,
But for now, au revoir États-Unis.
Now the plane coasts down the runway;
I'm caught between the lights -
I don't know the path I'm taking yet
But it's gotta turn out right.
So I'll unpack all these suitcases – I don't need them anymore.
Free space will come in handy as I walk that other shore.
And I don't need all this baggage: I've got strength deep in
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 2 6
You're the first to call me lovely
And the last to call me yours.
Keep saying that you love me
Safe behind your bolted doors.
And baby when you kiss me
It's like Fourth of July,
But you don't say that you miss me
And you're always on the fly.
It's fireworks baby, ooh,
That brief burst of color
Fades out too soon.
What began with a whimper's
Gotta end with a boom
But they're gone before morning
Oh, just like you.
They're just like you babe.
You're like a broken faucet –
Always runnin' hot and cold.
Bought a ring but then you lost it
That's the story that you told.
And now I'm growin' weary
Of your firecracker spark:
Get lightheaded when you're near me
Then I get left in the dark.
It's fireworks baby, ooh,
That brief burst of color
Fades out too soon.
What began with a whimper's
Gotta end with a boom
But they're gone before morning
Just like you.
It's not that I don't like you;
I don't wanna hurt your pride,
But baby, if you want me
Then you've gotta, you've gotta decide
Is it firew
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 3 20
May walks softly in ballerina's shoes,
she's a morning-glow goddess with nothing to lose,
and she's got a secret, but she can't sing the blues,
so she comes and she goes
and I wanna know what she knows.
I wanna know what she knows.
Saw her lying last night in a sliver of moon,
scent of white wine and honey and jasmine perfume –
she asked me "why are the good things always over so soon?"
'cause she comes and she goes
I wanna know what she knows!
I wanna know what she knows!
I said "May, what's this secret you've been holdin' so close,
curled up in your fingers like the bud of a rose?
Your eyes burn like cinders – they're so broken and it shows
that you come, you you go,
and God, I wanna know what you know,
I wanna know what you know."
She said "it's that first glance of wonder; it's a kiss in the rain;
it's the smell of the thunder and the taste of champagne;
it's the banner we march under and it's drivin' us insane
watch it come, let it go,
Oh they all wanna know what I know,
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 16 17
Heavy humidity presses her bone-thin limbs into patient, breathing soil
filling her footprints with earth-soaked scent.
Surrounded by wind pregnant with round, young droplets
so similar to the dull crimson rush of false fertility that streams from her,
She wonders if she is not so different from the rain
that threatens to split the seams of the billowing black,
wanting to be born.
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 1 2
Grass-stained kneecaps and dirty fingernails:
she, in her innocence,
catches the chorused murmurs of an ocean of cerulean
weed-blossoms and fulfills their deepest desire,
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 4 4
Une Lamentation
I adore your dental occlusives,
your gentle vowels
your whirling, liquid r's.
My mouth pines for the softness of your phonemes,
the clarity of your graphemes,
the distinct lack of muted schwas.
Oh, I could suck you down like agua de vida,
cleansing my tongue of nasals and uvulars.
Te amo para siempre, español.
Forever. I promise.
But first I must learn German.
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 2 13
in little ways
my tongue hummed with the music of discourse;
phonemes babbled from my cavernous mouth –
a sumptuous river of succulent sound.
I was queen of poetic smiles
and mistress of linguistic foreplay,
your match, your equal, always, (always)
Miss Emily Elizabeth Bennett,
arch, inelegant, blindingly, blossomingly brilliant.  
And I am still.
we speak the language of erasure,
conversing through the painfully present absences,
striking subtext for the sake of the commonest courtesies.
But invisible words still throb beneath the cacophony of silence,
crippling me with their indelible weight:
inflexible, prosaic, final.
And so it goes:
we resignedly flip our pencils and quietly efface ourselves out of existence,
pretending that each stroke of the eraser doesn't shred us apart.
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 3 7
Fairy Princess by aillesdors Fairy Princess :iconaillesdors:aillesdors 0 10
Using Her
"He could see Bonzo's anger growing hot. Hot anger was bad. Ender's anger was cold, and he could use it. Bonzo's was hot, and so it used him."
~ Ender's Game
, Orson Scott Card
Her anger does not burn;
it builds, but does not blaze,
volcanic, bubbling from a bottled-up eruption.
her anger frosts warm-blooded limbs
and freezes empathy  mid-sentence,
a measured swell toward mechanical indifference.
her anger sinks its vicious fangs into her brain
and turns her ruthless, sets her free
to use those collections of cells how she chooses,
an explosion of passion bursts a hole
in her icy, logical veneer and it all escapes
with a pneumatic hiss.
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 0 20
The Fix
Some days, I picture myself beautiful.
Here is how I fix myself:
First, I must shade myself starving,
penciling each protruding rib poking out
beneath my blemishless skin.
Next, I paint myself invisible,
slathering my limbs with artificial melanin,
softening the sharp facial curves,
smearing cupid's-bow lips with "natural" shades,
lengthening insufficient lashes,
debasing my too-transparent imperfections from existence.
Now! I plastic myself desirable,
trading my smallness for towering splendor,
recasting my rack so no part will be small
(except for my ego, my cunning, my speech).
Behold! I am glory in my naked, rewritten beauty!
I have pictured myself perfect and timeless
and fixed. Forever, fixed.
Look at how pretty I was.
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 3 9
High Praise
One day he said to me, "I am not gold;
instead, silver – refinement is required.
Those fiery ideals I can't uphold
Will leave me gaunt, with much to be desired.
Gaudy gold implies perfection's gained
and is alone for its high value seen,
is elevated, yet at once disdained
for that mirage reflected by its sheen.
Therefore, like silver treat me as you may,
but leave the golden idols to their kind –
for you might find, one long-awaited day,
Their exultation lies within your mind."
"If you are silver, then I must be, too."
"Higher praise," he smiled, "I never knew."
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 1 11
She's a cheap insight and a simple design;
She's a biased perception, a thin borderline;
She's got  a secret of infinite worth:
She's a runaway native of houses of mirth.
She's a modern-day martyr without a just cause;
She'll bend like a lily to everyone's laws.
She's a master of masks and of innocent guile,
But, oh, how it fails her and cracks with her smile.
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 0 7
An Execution
Pushing past the gauzy, trembling veil of half-consciousness,
I breathe myself back into the waking world.
Before my knot-tight muscles flex, feline, in their ritual reach for the ceiling,
a lazy glance drinks him in where he sits,
nestled contentedly in the realms of fantasy,
playing General to an slovenly army of pixels.
"Good mornings" are exchanged in a pair of lissome smiles,
and I arch myself, loosening my bunched-up fibers little by little,
before my traitor eyes tug me back to him.
They've got that look again, frail, turncoat spheres,
that look that wrenches open my tough binding,
allowing him to read me,
read me down through my very first draft.
His "what is it?" spills (hap)hazardously
from half-parted lips stretched in a backward grin;
rhetoric catches me hard beneath the breastbone,
sends me reeling while my twin deserters
defect back to me. Dampened by chagrin,
they plead their wordless case feebly.
He approaches softly, his ever-radiant concern
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 1 21
She was a being built for burgundy:
Meadowed eyes, twilit cheeks, starsheen lips
and a head threaded redgold, rumpelstiltskinesque.
She had it all –
her willowwalk, her larksong, and (ohgod) that
daybroken smile.
Ohyes. Yes.
She was built for the burgundy
that hung proud and loose from her birch-white limbs.
He'd dressed her in it, cruel Fox.
He knew what bloodblush does to girls like her.
Oh. God. Yes.
He knew.
At least she kept her daybroken smile.
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 1 13
the let down
Once, in the transient days of daisychains,
she wore her honey-gold threads loosed
around skeletal shoulders, to flap free and feral,
caught by thin fingers of wind.
Sixth grade bound her silk-strands up tight
and tasteful at the back of her cranium,
a swinging testament to maturity:
no more loves-me-not garlands or buttercupped chins.
Now, she keeps her fraying collection of knots tamed,
tied back like a wild, desperate creature thinned and beaten
down to nothing but bare, spindly bones.
Imprisoned, her lengthening locks still remember freedom.
Still yearning to spin sunlight into the in-between spaces,
still straining to catch the scent of daisies steeped in rainwater,
they wait, breathless, for the day she'll let herself down.
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 0 26
I beat
a miscellaneous collection of red-and-blue vessels
rushing (myself) with liquid oxygen;
I lash
laced muscles' (suffocating) corset-strings
around thin, pearly-polished bone;
I stretch
a tight pattern of nerve (wracked) hungry skin
over an arching frame;
I breathe
my body slow and deep, gasping (breaking)
from my very core and
I cry
(out) to Heaven: "you cannot have me,
I am mine."
:iconaillesdors:aillesdors 2 17


Random Favourites

I blossom, borderline
enlarging, screaming, roaring to
the corners of my mind
I am your monster
I am what you left behind—
what you fear was never buried—
I am ugly, and therefore I am alive
I am honesty
I am witness to the evil ends of men
the depths to which a woman can descend.
I am a broken mirror,
self-concept shattered on the anvil of my aims,
innocence offered up for ransom;
My own experiment,
vice-twisted interest in the artistry of pain,
master and victim
—betwixt the two I can do anything.
My lovers were razors,
each one a fallen idol in my mind,
each one another jagged bleeding line.
I blossom, borderline
hell bent on self-destruction I
painted myself in scars
went out to greet the cruel cold world
with open arms.
One day I’ll get the greeting I deserve.
:iconrocker-trancer-poet:Rocker-Trancer-Poet 0 3
Walk the Wheel by heavendweller Walk the Wheel :iconheavendweller:heavendweller 1 3
Juliet is the sun
I think;
I have always wanted
To have a conversation in
Whisperings of light-
Illuminating my thoughts
As I hear.
I wanted to speak in this way
To the sun
Breath her light
And hear her thoughts,
So I gave her
A name:
:iconsilentreflections:SilentReflections 3 16
Cereal Killers
[ snap ] goes the bones in your pretty right hand,
[ crackle ] goes the fire I'm burning you in,
[ pop ] goes your soul, oh sorry, I forgot I was holding a sharp object when I went to touch your face.
Rice Krispie murder on fourty-second street
please do not repeat
I touch your hair,
it's tips are [ frosted ]
I caress your skin,
it's coming off in [ flakes ]
The smell of your blood,
It's more than good,
The sound of your screams,
[ they're great ]
Frosted Flames destruction on thiry-fourth street
please do not repeat
And aren't you just so [ lucky ]
That you met me here tonight.
I won you over with my [ charms ]
But now something's gone awry.
You're running through the alleys
screaming 'help'
[ he's coming after me ]
You're cornered now
Your fear's profound
I taste it on your lips
[and it's magically delicious]
Unlucky charms inc
:iconjuveniledelinquency:juveniledelinquency 3 4
GG: Draconic Poet
Subtle hints of colliding titans rarely
Make themselves so utterly unremarkable
Unless placed underneath the half-dazed
Cranium of a certain over-worked and
Underfed new recruit to the civilian
Workforce... (consternation) with the rather undeniable
Scent of ‘potential’ to ease it’s
Acceptance into that jumbled mind,
Clearing a path through worthless
Memories and careless lies... (desolation) to
Purposefully slap awake that which
Sleeps within, uncoiling slowly as
The challenge rears a serpentine head
In boastful pride, eager to defeat this
Dreary newcomer, when the mere first
Thought of myriad cloud kingdoms
Finds that annoying aid to the muses... (inspiration)
In a poet’s steely claws, and a worn
Out old ballpoint pen cheerfully makes
Short work of a steady beat alongside that
Of warm drum notes, touched with a laughing
Guitar... (relaxation) and vaguely spiced with the deadly
Rumble of thunder just past those
Windows, as the hand holding it’s
Plastic majesty
:iconkdragonsheart:KDragonsheart 2 9
GG: Fade
I drifted slowly on those
Graying waters,
Edging by the last
Few forgotten remnants
Of space and time
As sadness carried me on
Past Charon’s fateful
Shores, an echo
Of ghostly waves against
My ear,
As I listen to
The rhythms my mind
Created as wards against
Life’s many vague
And far-off atrocities,
Even as they crashed
Into my heart
And tore away all that
I once was.
I faded into that
Ethereal dawn along
With the other
Ghosts of apocalypse.
:iconkdragonsheart:KDragonsheart 1 5
another untitled
:iconvix0r:vix0r 5 17
The sea is my enemy.
I repeated it to myself
Until it became my heartbeat—
Always swollen in my chest
An aching sense of what should be there
But vanished long ago
Pushing against my ribcage.
This sea is my enemy.
Splinters of driftwood
Tossed, unwanted, by the tide
A log bobbing updownupdown.
Calm lull of lapping waves
Boring into my cranium
The day my hopes sunk.
Such a vivid picture painted in my mind
Filled with tranquil light blue blood.
A hell
Of sunlight glinting across the water.
Your sea is my enemy.
The one you let wash around your ankles
As you danced to its gentle murmur.
You made sure we were next to it
When we drowned in each other
As you caressed me with wet lips
That tasted of saltwater.
My mouth is still filled with its bitterness.
Our sea is my enemy.
You swore to me our forever
Upon the glittering waters
Because they never changed.
And that was when the sea darkened,
Your glorious lie arousing your glorious ocean.
In black swel
:iconpoetoffire:poetoffire 25 50
Faith, Brad Pitt, Disorders
Faith, Brad Pitt, and other Disorders
Give me his twelve-pack.
Brad Pitt...You see this, this right here? This is a gut, otherwise known as a one-pack. Give me twelve of them.
(laughs) You want twelve guts?
(smiles) Stop it. You said that anything is possible if you believe right? I want a his.
(sits back and cocks her head) such thing as a twelve-pack...
(interrupts) Remember that movie he was in? You know...the historically inaccurate one. He was a Spartan, or a Greek or an American or something... (leans back and clicks fingers twice)...
‘Fight Club’?
(gives Jen a blank look) Yes Jen. He was a Spartan, wore a tiny skirt and ran around the streets of New York in ‘Fight Club’. (sighs and then slams both hands on the table) ‘Troy’. That was it. ‘Troy’. You saw that with me you moron. Remem
:iconthefulkrum:TheFulkrum 4 19
People Like You
People Like You
I took you in like sunlight
Glitter words between your jaws
Sweet little dreams
Easy to topple
Domino easy
So like screenwriter fantasy
I drew you in
Every part of my
Petty life
And now we fight and we
Angry glass arguments
Shatter with
Charged explosive silence
I never miss people like you
But I do
Ache for your
Bitter passion
And lust after
Hideous worship
So I took you in
Like sweet cancer sunlight
And loved
Right into
My skin
:iconibegyourpudding:ibegyourpudding 3 5
Mature content
Touch and Go :iconiamchlorine:iamchlorine 32 55
Bo by Balfosum Bo :iconbalfosum:Balfosum 3 5 In the Moon of Wintertime by heavendweller In the Moon of Wintertime :iconheavendweller:heavendweller 1 1
Dear Lucy
Dear Lucy,
      Although you may enjoy dizzying
around up there in the sky,
it is quite dangerous and diamonds are in fact very sharp,
so you will have to come down at once.
      I will admit that I didn’t believe you before
when you said that girl you met had kaleidoscope eyes,
or when you said that I didn’t know what love was,
but what you said made me think:
I thought about you this morning
and I found that I couldn’t remember
the almost accidental lightness
when your fingertips touched mine;
but I remembered how you wrapped your words
around my tongue, like strings of hot wax or honey.
And you said you didn’t know what love was yourself,
and I was going to say I guess I didn’t know either,
but then I remembered seeing you underwater once,
the tips of your hair flickering up the curves of your face.
I thought about a day in my life.
It was the day the willow tree dangled its limbs
in front of the
:iconalekdeva:alekdeva 1 3
el gato siames by sansvoix el gato siames :iconsansvoix:sansvoix 1 4
I loved her inside letters, I tucked
my hearts and my organs inside of her
messy scrawl, her heartache, her doodles
of lost girls, of black cats, of razors and
pills. I sealed myself, my fate, I sent it to her:
Three stamps, and a kiss, always
with pearl-pink lip gloss. It would fade in the mail,
traveling 5000  miles  
to her door, but I did not
care and the doves inside
my chest dared to break out.
I loved her inside letters,
I tucked her pain inside my art.
I filled my envelopes
with sadness, pieces of my hair,
my strange secrets,
my broken stories.
:iconohfever:ohfever 34 39



United States
English is my life. What else is there to say?

Current Residence: Mansfield
Favourite genre of music: Celtic, Folk, Classical, Choral
MP3 player of choice: iPod
Shell of choice: None
Favourite cartoon character: Cheetara - Thundercats
Personal Quote: Life is trying, so I'll try
I completely apologize for being so absent lately. A lot as been going on in my life and for whatever reason the poetry has just... not being coming. Which is a very sad state of affairs but I'm having some trouble fixing it. I am, however, working on another little project which is channeling my creativity, the first installment of which can be found here: I would put this up in my account but I haven't figured out how yet.

I will (hopefully) be back into full swing soon!

~ Emily
  • Listening to: Momentum
  • Reading: The World in a Phrase - A History of the Aphorism
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Raspberry green tea


Add a Comment:
WaywardSaint Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
I checked my dA for the first time in four years. Ha. I have no idea if you're still around, but ... hi? 
lifeuncommon Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
lifeuncommon Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2012
Hi Emily! Your birthday's coming up and believe it or not I scored some duplicate books for my birthday last year and you're the only person I "know" who would appreciate them.

When you pop back in feel free to send me a private message, I'd love to post them to you.
aillesdors Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2012
Oh that would be fantastic! (I'm sorry it took me so long to respond; as usual I've been off an on this site, although I AM still writing poetry! I just haven't posted it in a long time because I'm toying with the idea of trying to publish some of it, and I'm not sure if posting it up on dA will render it unpublishable.) What are you up to, by the way?
lifeuncommon Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2012
The majority of places do only publish original pieces, that is, those that haven't appeared on the Internet or anywhere else before. However I've been submitting to journals and anthologies that do publish the previously published. I just have to sort through and find them. That and I'm doing what you're doing, keeping some of the newer ones offline to increase my options.

See private message!
aillesdors Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2012
I just need to figure out which ones to keep offline and which to put up. I'm actually editing some of my old work and since the older drafts are already up here anyway, it probably wouldn't hurt to stick them back up.

You know what we should do? We should have a little writing group, email-style. That way we can look over things without falling victim to the "you published this one the internet" BS.
(1 Reply)
lifeuncommon Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011
Great to hear from you again! :glomp:
random-kumquats Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2011  Student Writer
happy birthday!
aillesdors Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2011
Why thank you!
MadPrinceFeanor Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2011  Professional Writer
Happy Birthday!!! :party::cake::airborne::boogie:
Add a Comment: